Nothing Happens At Ten

I ran into DG, and he now has decided on his New Year’s Resolution.

He decided to adopt my annual resolution, to “Eat more salt, fat and sugar and try to put on some weight”.

It looks like he has taken it to heart.

He might have misinterpreted the gag.

“Hey, DG. It’s a joke. You don’t really do it. It’s a joke.”

Oh my. What have we wrought?

I asked DG what his NewYear’s Resolution is.

Oh. Just like that? After one marginal experience with it? You could try a different branch of philosophy.

OK. But that sounds like another cop-out to me.

My New Year’s Resolution is the same every year.

“I resolve to eat more fat, salt and sugar and try to put on some weight”.

That way, when I fail at it, it’s good for me.

Now that DG is back, he wants to wish you a Happy New Year.

DG is still annoyed with me for playing with his existence. In fact, he is so put off that he has filed another BM form on me. (Click HERE if you don’t know what a BM form is).

“DG”, I said, “this is no time to cop an attitude. I am the one who brought you back after you made yourself go away by not thinking. So put on your party hat and get with the program!”

Such enthusiasm.

I have been giving some thought to what to do about DG’s disappearance when he stopped thinking.

Actually, considering the quality of his mischief, I wondered why he hadn’t disappeared sooner.

But, I digress.

It came to me that since DG is a cartoon, maybe we need to change his philosophy a tad. Instead of “cogito, ergo sum“, perhaps it should be “cogito, ergo tu es“, which translates to “I think, therefore, you are”.

So, I gave it a try.

“DG, DG, he’s our man! If he can’t do it, nobody can!”

Hey, it worked! Just thinking about him brought him back.

You disappeared because you stopped thinking. Get it? You studied philosophy where you learned that thinking is key, and when you inadvertently stopped thinking you disappeared in a pfffftttt. So I came up with the idea that since you are a cartoon, what you think doesn’t matter, and I could bring you back myself by just thinking about you. Pretty cool, hunh?

DG?

You still there?

Poo.

Ingrate!

I ran into DG the other day. I have not seen DG for a long time, and I wondered what had happened.

“Hey, DG” I said, “What’s going on? It’s been a year since I’ve seen you”.

OK, but it’s been a long time. Where have you been? What have you been up to?

Studying philosophy? For a year? That’s a lot of studying! So, what did you learn about philosophy in a year?

That’s deep. But don’t you agree that all of that stuff is just silliness that doesn’t have any application in the real world?

Oh!

Bummer. That explains a lot.