I had an interesting conversation over the weekend. I have a T-Mobile prepaid cell phone that I use on occasion as a backup phone. I have to put minutes on it every 3 months or all of the stored minutes expire and I lose every dime I have put into it that has not been used up. Since I don’t use the phone much, I now have about 600 minutes on the darn thing, and I have to keep adding to it so I won’t lose those minutes.
See how the game is played?
So I bought the obligatory $10 card and called the automated, incorporeal, computer support ghost to add the minutes to the account. I picked up the phone and entered the 800 number to call, whereon I was told to enter the phone number of the cell phone, which I did, and then the number from the $10 card, which I did. Here is what the robot said.
“YOU HAVE JUST ADDED TEN DOLLARS TO YOUR ACCOUNT. YOU NOW HAVE……. ZERO….. MINUTES ON YOUR ACCOUNT.”
A moment of panic there.
So, quick like a bunny I called up their support line and heard.
“Para español presione el número dos”
I didn’t want to speak Spanish, but no alternative number was given, so I waited.
Long delay.
Finally.
“This phone call may be recorded to assure quality of service.”
OKOK.
Long delay.
Then, I was ordered to enter my cell phone number again, which I did.
Long delay.
“For that phone please contact our prepaid phone support. I will transfer you.”
Ringing.
Long delay.
“Para español presione el número dos”
Nope. I still don’t want to speak Spanish.
I wait.
Long delay.
“This phone call may be recorded to assure quality of service.”
OKOK.
Long delay.
( by this time I had logged into the online account and seen that the minutes had, indeed been added to the account. False alarm. But I decided to tell them about their software bug anyway because it was pretty scary).
“Hello. This is <mumble> how may I help you?”
Why is it that <mumble> always answers the help line when I call?
“I just added $10 to my prepaid account cell phone and the automated voice told me that the account had zero minutes on it.”
“What is your PIN?”
“What PIN? All I have is the phone number.”
“You have to give me the PIN to verify who you are.”
“I don’t remember a PIN. Is it the same as the password on the web page?”
“No it is a PIN. I cannot give you information about the account without the PIN.”
“I don’t remember having a PIN. OK…. try….. < I gave a PIN I have used in the past as a wild guess>”
“Good! You have matched the PIN.”
<wow… that was hard>
“How may I help you?”
“I just added $10 to my prepaid account cell phone and the automated voice told me that the account has zero minutes on it.”
“Your account has 634 minutes on it, Sir.”
“Yes, but the automated voice told me that it had zero minutes on it after I added the $10.”
“That would be incorrect, Sir.”
“Yes, I know. I have logged into the web page and seen that. But I thought that I would tell you about it so you can report the problem. Do you have a way of reporting software problems?”
“Oh, no. That would be confusing.”
“Confusing?”
“Yes, Sir. That would confuse people.”
“I see. It would confuse people.”
“Yes, Sir. Is there anything else I can do for you today?”
< bite my tongue >
“No thanks. I just wanted to confirm that the minutes were added to the account.”
“Thank you, have a nice day.”
And so I did…..
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